Yorkshire Dales

Day 1 - 2/3rds of the Yorkshire 3 Peaks

Written by Harry Curtis

The day started as many Saturdays on weekend trips do, with an irritatingly early alarm courtesy of Peter, and associated complaints from the rest of us. Before the sun had emerged from the horizon we were tucking into a gourmet selection of Aldi’s cheapest cereals and bread to fuel us for a tough day in the challenging terrain of the Yorkshire Dales.

Once we had finally washed up the assorted mugs and awkwardly shuffled around a caver cooking much more delicious food than we were, we set off for the day. The early light revealed the true topography of the road we had sped along the previous evening, and the view of the large drop and very low barrier vindicated some of Matthew’s points of view on Peters driving that were passionately shared in the cab of the minibus the previous evening. Once we had avoided that peril, we were greeted by the view of the majestic Ribblehead Viaduct, where we parked up, got layered up and yomped on.

The planned route was two thirds of the Yorkshire Three Peaks, and we initially made very good progress, however, it wasn’t long until we gained some height up Whernside, and it was clear the elements weren’t on our side. The gale force winds made walking arduous, as well as making it pretty chilly. We stopped for a short break at the top of the Whernside, before heading down the treacherous descent. The rocks were incredibly slippy, and balance wasn’t helped by the gusts, thankfully we all made it down safely, apart from some impressive, perhaps even graceful, falls from Tommy and Ethan.  

At the bottom we tucked into lunches of varying quality, before splitting up into the tough group who fancied pushing themselves to tackle Ingleborough and the sensible group who fancied sitting in the pub, led by yours truly. We soon found the Station Inn and became acquainted with their brown beer selection and Wi-Fi which kept us quiet for a while. Meanwhile, by all accounts the other group was being beaten and battered by mother nature, and they briefly lost Carolin. Once she was retrieved, they plodded on down to find Peter’s taxi waiting at the bottom.
Once everyone had returned and freshened up, the traditional trip to Booths was taken and much cheese purchased. As everyone settled in for the evening, the kitchen team was furiously cooking away and meeting Matthew’s inner Gordon Ramsey. After only a few expletives were thrown around over what order a lasagna should be piled up in, and the garlic breads were suitably cremated, it was time to tuck in. We were briefly joined by a very hungry caver who ate 4 portions of lasagna, a whole garlic bread and a bowl of chips before disappearing off again. 

I’m very grateful to Milly and Abbie who repeated their performance from the Peak District as they defeated the imposing stack of washing up, and we were all finally able to sit down and relax for the evening. The compulsory fun in the form of Billy’s quiz tested whether we were worthy of British Citizenship, and our knowledge of movie soundtracks, but all I learnt is that Teller is a useless quizzing partner. The evening then calmed down with some heading to bed and others engaging in some hardcore games of bananagrams, where we got an insight into Kieran’s mind (his only words were ‘Tits’, ‘Titties’, and ‘Shag’), and learnt that Anders is a walking-talking dictionary, but it wasn’t long before we all headed to bed for another night in Bullpot’s cosy bunkrooms. 

Day 2 - Malham Cove 

Written by Matthew Armour

Sunday began at a more leisurely pace thanks to some alarm setting miscommunications, with an announcement from Govia Thameslink Railway finally rousing the masses at half past 8. With that a hurried clean up operation was led with much faffing and little productivity. Whilst Kieran used all his Joe’s bar skills to badly fry an egg, Millie once again found herself tackling a mountain of washing up. Having bumped into many cavers we finally departed Bullpot, encountering many quick to reverse caving club members when they came face to face with the Brightling bus on Yorkshire’s scariest road.

Arriving at Malham, we set off towards Gordale Scar, but were significantly delayed by a man in a van providing fried goods and caffeine. Upon arrival at the ravine, a waterfall was found in place of the normally dry-ish scramble. Not to be dissuaded, Teller led the way, scaling the scramble with a small group of intrepid followers. After plunging hands and boots into the gushing stream in search of holds, the  top was reached. Wisely, the rest of the cohort decided to avoid the scramble and followed a less perilous path around to Malham cove – where everyone was reminded of its brief featuring in one of the Harry Potter films that nobody really remembers. Having completed the only interesting part of the walk, the scramble group trudged up to the tarn before a wind battered walk back via Malham cove, before regrouping at the minibus.

The journey home was the normal no-rush affair with many apprehensive thoughts when comparing the journey length to that of the upcoming Skye trip. In traditional style the minibus arrived back into Selly Oak an hour and a half behind the cars, not helped by a pre-curry appetiser from the Northbound McDonalds at Sandbach Services. The weekend ended with a high turnout Dilshads meal, with special appearances from Anna and Elliott – the latter of which seemed to have gone slightly mad having missed out on a weekend trip for the first time since starting uni in 2021!