Yorkshire Dales

Day 1 - The 3 2 Peaks

Friday was a fairly uneventful journey but a range of food was consumed in the pearl of Cheshire which is Sandbach. By around 10pm the Wayfarers reached their base of Bullpot Farm, a remote caver’s outpost on the flanks of Casterton Fell. As per usual, a high quality sleep was not possible. Finally everyone fell asleep after the startling events of the fire alarm going off, only for those in Bunkroom 1 to be woken up by a domestic between George Smith and Matthew Armour over who’s limbs were touching who.

A cool and dry winter’s morning set the scene for Saturday’s adventure. The village of Ribblehead presented us with a fine view of the famous viaduct which provided a great backdrop to the start of the hike. With the Yorkshire 3 Peaks in mind, a good steady pace was set and spirits were high. Oh, how naïve we were. However, the ambition and challenge behind this goal ensured we summitted both Whernside and Ingleborough despite the lack of motivational views and the cruel harshness of sections of the path. Meanwhile, a small group did their own walk where Peter Brightling took the opportunity to buy so much British cheese he earned a place in next-PM Liz Truss’s cabinet. To round of the trip back to the barn the drive involved journeying through a terrifying amount of fog, but all made it back safely for a quiz which remarkably involved some genuinely sensible questions. Due to there being no local pub a lot of red wine was consumed and an illicit off-licence was set up inside the barn.

Day 2 - Malham Tarn

General Secretary Curtis allowed us a paltry 30 minute lie in from his usual fascist approach to mornings, followed by breakfast where George managed to fall asleep and required a morning satsuma thrown in his face to wake him up. After lots of faff and Yorkshire Water really earning their bills we made it out. The day saw a wholesome and traditional outing to Malham Cove, where George confused a parking attendant to save the society a grand total of £5.00 but nature served instant karma when his minibus wheels got stuck in the mud which unfortunately for him was caught on video. The route featured Janet’s Foss, a small but wonderful waterfall nestled in a magical wood along the footpath from Malham Village towards Gordale Scar which was later enthusiastically (or perilously) scrambled up. This was followed by lunch at the edge of Malham Tarn, unfairly described by Harry as “the worst place in Yorkshire”.

The journey back began with a getaway from Malham that a bank robber would be proud of, to get Matthew Teller and his widow’s peak and the illustrious weatherman Peter Townsend to Skipton station. Alice may be an aspiring medic, but her driving skills are a loss to the world of organised crime. The 17 seater made for a more leisurely journey, only straying into the adjacent lanes now and again, to get everyone back for a massive curry.